Acceptance
by Merlinnn77
Summary: Rated M to be safe, more like T. Jack/Ianto slash pairing. Summary: Ianto finds the aftermath of the incident with the cannibals hard to deal with, and there's only one person who can help him.
1. Chapter 1

Ianto languidly opened the door to his flat, clad only in a loose, open shirt and his boxers. He sleepily gazed across the figure who leaned against his doorframe and sighed as he recognised him.

"Morning!" grinned Jack happily. His eyes glazed across Ianto's chest before moving up to meet his face. Ianto walked away from his front door, leaving it open as an invitation for Jack. Jack took it and came in, closing the door after him and following Ianto into his kitchen.

"Coffee?" asked Ianto, switching on his kettle and throwing teaspoons of instant into mugs, "Instant'll have to do I'm afraid," he said.

"You actually own instant coffee?!" asked Jack incredously, a playful grin on his face.

"Why are you here?" asked Ianto blandly, facing his boss with a blank face.

"I... I'm worried.. About you," said Jack honestly, reaching out to clasp Ianto's hand. Ianto snatched it out of Jack's reach and turned to pour water into the mugs.

"I don't need your sympathy," he said.

"But I want to give it!" exclaimed Jack, reaching out to steady Ianto's shaky hand on the milk bottle, "I want to... Help,"

Ianto gulped inwards as Jack's hand wrapped around his and this time, he didn't snatch it away.

"Please Ianto, let me help you, I want to help you... So please, just let me," insisted Jack softly in Ianto's ear as he took Ianto's other hand into his own. Ianto guided the milk back to the worktop with shivery breaths. His hanging head slowly nodded.

"Okay," breathed Jack, slowly guiding Ianto away from the kitchen worktop and out of the kitchen itself. His hands were curled around Ianto's as he moved the man through the living room and into his bedroom, gently pushing him into his bed and wrapping the duvet across his fine limbs.

"Sleep," whispered Jack, stroking his hair before moving away from the bed and slipping silently from the room.

* * *

2 hours later Ianto awoke, only to find Jack staring at him from the armchair opposite his bed.

"You've been here the whole time?" asked Ianto, slowly sitting upwards. Jack smiled slightly.

"No... I went back to the Hub for a bit. Everyone's really concerned," he said. A quiet laugh escaped from Ianto.

"Owen? Concerned?" he said, clearly disbelieving. Jack laughed too.

"Maybe not everyone," A slow silence followed, in which Jack carefully studied Ianto.

"I...I'm scared," admitted Ianto suddenly, looking across his bed in something like shame.

"Why? Why are you scared Ianto?" asked Jack, noticing the tension in Ianto's jawline at such an admittance of emotion.

"I dunno... It's stupid I guess,"

"Tell me... Tell me why,"

"Those... People!" spat Ianto with a shiver, "They... They almost..."

"Yeah I know," said Jack, getting up to sit next to a shivering Ianto, "I know what almost happened Yan, and you shouldn't be ashamed to say it scared you," he said softly.

"It's not that... It's the outside. What if the guy at the till in Tesco's is like them? Or that woman reading in the library?" asked Ianto fearfully. Jack smiled gently.

"They aren't, Ianto, they aren't anything to be afraid of!"

"I did tell you it was silly!"

"It isn't silly. Thankfully you can stay at home, with no one else around to bother you," Jack tightened his grip slightly.

"But that makes it worse. The silence or the droning TV. Jumping when the postman comes," said Ianto, looking up at Jack, "let me come back. Let me go back to work," begged Ianto, wide eyed with hope.

"I... I can't!" whispered Jack quietly, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at Ianto.

"Please!" begged the Welshman, "Just let me be around you guys, I won't work... I just want the company," he said, clutching onto Jack's arm like a small child. Jack opened his eyes and looked into Ianto's reading the deep, dark fear in them.

"Okay," he agreed finally, squeezing Ianto's arms gently, "you get dressed... I'll be in the living room," he smiled. Jack climbed out of Ianto's grasp and began to leave the room when Ianto called out.

"Jack?" he called, causing him to turn, "Thank you," he said, a warm smile bleeding from him. Jack nodded and smiled back before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.

* * *

"You okay?" asked Tosh with her usual caring smile. Ianto gave a weak nod and gratefully accepted her friendly hug. Owen gave him a small nod and Gwen barely gave him a glance, yet Ianto was thankful for even the small nods of company. He immediately moved for his coffee machine, making the group their own individual favourites out of simple habit. He delivered each of them; Gwen's latte with chocolate sprinkles, Tosh's simple americano, Owen's cappuccino with extra cream and finally Jack's industrial strength black Java. He delivered Jack's last, going into his office and closing the door behind him.

"Ah Ianto! Thank you!" grinned Jack, putting down his pile of papers, "You feeling any better?" he asked.

"Much thanks!" smiled Ianto, going to sit opposite Jack with his own mocha.

"Good," said Jack taking a small sip, "This is good too!"

"Being on sick leave doesn't suddenly make me unable to make coffee!" exclaimed Ianto, suddenly offended.

"Yet you threatened to make a cup of instant earlier!" pointed out Jack, taking another sip. Ianto nodded, now that he couldn't argue with. The two continued to sit in Jack's office for a while, contently drinking their different coffees. Owen opened the door to Jack's office and gave the two men funny looks before looking at Jack.

"UNIT's on the phone," he grumbled, flicking through the file in his hands before placing it on Jack's desk. Ianto didn't move, only looked at the file like it was incriminating.

"I'll just... Uh... Go..." said Owen, slowly backing from the room and closing the door behind him before dashing away from the office.

"You should answer the phone," suggested Ianto, catching Jack's intense stare. A nod came from the older man and he carefully set his mug down on a pile of papers, causing Ianto to immediately jump up and find a coaster to place under it. A smile spread across Jack's face as he picked up the phone.

"Captain Jack Harkness speaking," he said into it. Ianto watched him for a few seconds before weakly smiling and leaving the room too. He headed through the main part of the Hub only to be stopped by Gwen.

"How's Jack?" she asked, "Nicely filled eh?" Suspicion wreaked from her voice in every possible way. Ianto stared at her, trying to piece things together before realisation hit.

"What did Owen say?" he asked blankly. A snigger came from Owen's desk,

"Nothing!" he giggled, giving himself away completely.

"Hey!" said Gwen, clearly annoyed and punching Owen's upper bicep, "We believed you!"

"What? Jack and Teaboy?" Owen laughed again, "Please!" he clutched at his stomach melodramatically. Tosh gave Owen an annoyed shake of her head before gently smiling at Ianto. Ianto nodded in return before side-stepping the play-fighting Gwen and Owen and heading into the archives. Little did anyone know as Ianto disappeared and Tosh returned to her translation programme and Owen caught Gwen in a headlock... That Jack had been watching the whole time.


	2. Chapter 2

Ianto slipped through the Archives swiftly and silently, knowing his way around like the back of his hand. Finally he came to the end of the seemingly endless corridors. He was deep underground, directly beneath the Bay itself. The files down there had been so forgotten nobody alive could even remember their existence, even Jack barely knew they were there. Ianto himself had only looked at them once for filing and shelving's sake, and even he couldn't remember what information they contained. Anyway, he wasn't here for a file. He was here for the silence. He slid down the back wall, collapsing into a crumpled ball on the cold floor beneath him. He'd come back to work in the hope that the noise and banter and general company Torchwood provided would be enough to take his mind off of things but he'd been wrong. The stupid teasing of his teammates had done nothing but push him away at a time when they should be letting him under their wing. At least Tosh had shown some form of kindness and Jack had too. Jack. Jack had saved him, saved him on countless occasions and yet Ianto had never thanked him. Strange guilt flooded through Ianto; he should really go thank Jack. He stood up and brushed his designer suit only to find his Captain standing in front of him.

* * *

"How are you Ianto?" asked Jack, his hands in his trouser pockets, pushing his coat away to reveal his leather holster. His face was creased with lines of worry.

"I... I..." stuttered Ianto, caught completely unaware.

"I'm sorry about Owen and Gwen," apologised Jack, a first for him.

"I'm... I..." stammered Ianto again, sliding down the wall to the floor again. Jack dashed forward and caught Ianto before he fall to the floor.

"It's okay Ianto, I understand Ianto," whispered Jack in his ear as he hugged the younger man close. Ianto peered up at his boss, his eyes full of strange trust, strange desire... And strange admiration. Within seconds Ianto had closed his lips around Jack's, embracing him in a lust-filled kiss. Jack was pleasantly surprised and smiled under the kiss before letting his logical mind take over and pull away.

"You're not thinking straight Yan, this isn't right," whispered Jack, reading the hurt in Ianto's eyes.

"You... You don't want me," stated Ianto already trying to distances himself from the man.

"No! No... I do.. I just..." said Jack before closing the growing gap between them by pushing Ianto up against the wall with a mind-blowing, desire-fuelled kiss, his arms curling in Ianto's hair as his body pinned Ianto against the wall. This time Ianto had to pull away.

"You want me," he stated again, smiling at his older boss, watching every line in his face break out into a grin.

"I've always wanted you," he smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Sorry this chapter is so short, and sorry if it isn't that good - it's 11:30pm and I'm living off coffee hehe xD**

Ianto headed into the Hub the next day with his head held high and a weak smile on his face. He nodded at Tosh, who had undoubtedly been in since dawn before glancing around for Owen and Gwen who were without surprise not there. He swiftly made Tosh's coffee out of habit and after placing it on a coaster on her desk, headed towards Jack's office. He knocked once before entering, slipping inside and shutting the door after him. Jack looked up and smiled, causing Ianto to blush nervously.

"Ianto," murmured Jack, leaning back in his chair, "you alright?" he asked.

"Mhm..." replied Ianto quietly, going to sit on the edge of Jack's desk softly.

"Good," said Jack, placing a hand on Ianto's leg which only created a deeper blush. Ianto levelled his breathing slightly, afraid that the hitched sounds would be noticeable. After a few seconds of careful thought, he suddenly leaned down and kissed Jack in a mash of lips and tongue, taking the older man by surprise. However he soon took control of himself and kissed Ianto back, getting to his feet to push the Welshman back against his hard desk.

* * *

Ianto was quivering. Shivering and quivering as once again he found himself huddled up against the back wall of the Archives. He'd done bad. He'd done wrong. He'd... He'd... He couldn't even say it. He bowed his head into his knees as he hugged them tight against his chest. The first tear fell wetly against his cheek and before he knew it, they were flowing freely. Within a few minutes however, he had once again composed himself and none but himself were witness to his lapse in character. He took a deep breath. And another. And another. And then it finally sank in. He'd cheated on her. On Lisa. She may be dead, but he'd vowed he wouldn't do it. Wouldn't cheat. He gulped again. Yet he'd broken his promise already, broken his promise to a _man_. He quivered again as he felt the cold bricks along his spine. He was dirty. He was a dirty, lying cheat. He shivered.


	4. Chapter 4

"I finally found him," murmured Tosh, supporting his lithe weight. Jack nodded seriously, taking the man from her and easily carrying him.

"He was right at the back. Must've been there hours," she added, biting her lip worriedly as Jack carried the man down to the medical bay.

* * *

"Early stages of hypothermia," confirmed Owen, putting away his stethoscope carefully.

"Thanks," smiled Jack with relief as the body on the gurney moved slightly.

"Urgh... Urgh..." he groaned, pushing himself up onto his elbows, causing Jack to hurry to his side and help him up.

"Welcome back Ianto," smiled Jack.

* * *

He pulled the blanket closer and picked up his hot mug again, taking a sip. Ianto glanced up at Jack from the threadbare couch,

"I... I guess I lost track of time," he explained lamely, gazing into his coffee.

"Right at the back of the Archives? You just.. Took a break and fell asleep for half a day?" asked Jack with a skeptically raised eyebrow. Ianto nodded slowly, not bothering to look up before sucking in a deep breath and swallowing a sob.

"Hey... Hey it's okay!" murmured Jack, wrapping an arm around the still shivery Welshman. With nowhere else to turn, Ianto curled into the warmth of Jack's broad chest and valiantly tried to hold back the sobs that threatened.

* * *

"You can tell me anything," Jack told him simply as they lay in his bed, their bodies intertwined.

"I know... I don't know what came over me," muttered Ianto, trying to pull out of his grasp but failing.

"I want you to tell me everything," murmured Jack, pressing his lips to Ianto's temple in an attempt to make the man relax. He moved down his cheeks before brushing over his lips.

"I'm sorry..." Ianto stated, trying his hardest to not fall, to not succumb and let everything destroy his exterior.

"It won't happen again," he added, knowing deep down it was a lie.


	5. Chapter 5

5 months had passed and Ianto and Jack were almost a couple. They had shagged on nearly every available surface in the Hub, shagged in the back of the SUV and shagged in Ianto's flat. Yet they'd never been on a date, and that's why Ianto refused to believe they were a couple.

* * *

He smartened his tie in the mirror and gulped strongly at his reflection. Their first date. After 6 months of passionate sex, they'd finally agreed to have a date. Ianto flicked through the jackets in his wardrobe and picked out a posh black one from an expensive designer. He slipped it on and straightened the vent, glancing back at the mirror. He smiled slightly, arching an eyebrow at himself in the mirror. Then his doorbell rang.

* * *

"Where are we going?" he asked with a giggle as he walked behind Jack in the busy Cardiff street.

"You'll see!" chuckled the older man, reaching out behind him to take Ianto's hand, "Trust me!" he grinned. Ianto shook his head slightly, but still smiled his lopsided smile. Jack glanced behind them before veering to the right and into a lively alley packed with bright lights. Ianto gazed up at the neon signs of restaurants and bars of every type as he flickered his eyes around the entrances of the bars, watching the mainly male audience. He chuckled at Jack; "I can see why you know this place!" he smiled as they walked past two men heatedly snogging against the bricks. Jack grinned his killer grin back before turning to the left and hurrying down a long set of stone steps. Ianto glanced at the sign, faintly recognising the name but having little memory of ever being there before. He shook away the strange déjà vu feeling and followed Jack trustingly. They headed into a dark interior, made up of burgundy shades and glowing candles. There were many two man tables dotted around, covered with a pure white tablecloth and silver cutlery. To the side was a large, sophisticated bar and warm pizza oven.

"Italian," commented Ianto, clearly impressed as they were escorted to a table by the back wall. Jack nodded as he flopped into a wooden chair as if he owned the place. Ianto graciously sat down opposite him and delicately picked up a menu, flicking through the wines.

"Cabernet?" he suggested, generating a faint smile from Jack in agreement as he too picked up a menu. They sat in silence for a few minutes, looking through the complicated names and delicious dishes.

"Care to order?" asked a young, tanned waiter, standing with his notepad ready. Jack faced him with killer grin, causing the waiter to plush and hurriedly look away as Ianto kicked Jack and Jack ordered the ham and pineapple pizza. Ianto turned to face the waiter with a sympathetic and knowing smile before ordering his meat feast pizza. The waiter quickly nodded and headed away, eager to leave the situation. Both Jack and Ianto turned to face each other at the same time as they both fought back giggles.

"You shouldn't tease people!" scolded Ianto as seriously as he could, which to be honest, wasn't much at all.

"Couldn't help it!" retorted Jack, biting his lip to try to contain his laughter.

"Try harder!" giggled Ianto before quickly biting his lip too as their wine and starters arrived. Jack turned serious quickly and poured Ianto a full glass of wine before handing it over and pouring his own. Ianto watched him carefully, softly sipping his warm liquid as he did so.

"Jack," he began slowly, "Can you die from alcohol poisoning?" he asked curiously. Jack burst out laughter, putting his glass down.

"I can and I have. Not pretty," he winced slightly, making Ianto raise an eyebrow and take a gulp before picking up a slick of bread and buttering it.

"So. Who's paying?" he asked, taking a bite.

* * *

The pizzas thankfully arrived pretty quickly, and as Ianto bit into the hot dough he recognised the signature of a true Italian restaurant. He looked up at Jack, and felt a strange sense of unease fill him. He watched Jack bite his own pizza, take a sip of wine and gaze at the restaurant quietly before raising his glass to his lips again and taking another bite. Suddenly Ianto was no longer watching Jack. He was watching Lisa. She was going through the exact same motions, if a little more delicately. Ianto gulped and dropped his pizza slice as he remembered vividly why the restaurant seemed so familiar. He and Lisa had been there before, during a short holiday visiting Rihannon and her husband. Jack looked up at Ianto immediately, their eyes connecting.

"You okay?" asked Jack, watching Ianto's jaw tense with every second. Ianto hurriedly shook his head and stood up swiftly, almost knocking over his wine in his hurry.

"I'm sorry I have to go," he blurted urgently before moving towards the entrance to the restaurant with a polite yet hurried pace. Jack stood up too and frowned deeply, watching the Welshman leave.

"But... Ianto?" he called confusedly.

Cold was good, thought Ianto as he headed into the freezing night. Cold was reality, he decided. Around him were the moving bodies of the happy, the intoxicated, the _warm_. He felt cold inside, cold and ashamed as Lisa swam through his mind quickly. Ashamed that he'd spent 6 months revelling in his broken vow, sleeping persistently with someone else without a single thought of Lisa. Not for the first time, Ianto felt dirty.


	6. Chapter 6

Ianto headed into work the next day in a rather cheap Marks and Sparks suit and flashy red tie. As always, he was the second to arrive-only minutes after Tosh and he soon set to work making her her coffee. Within minutes the task was done and the blue and green mug was placed on a coaster on her desk with a smile. She nodded in return, not moving her eyes from the computer screen once. Ianto stepped away and flitted his eyes towards the dirty glass windows of Jack's office and immediately turned away, having caught his boss watching him with an almost predatory stare. Feeling unnerved, Ianto hurried away from the main Hub and dashed down the stairs towards his Archives. He quickly picked up the files he'd been working on the night before and quickly read through them when he suddenly heard a set of footsteps fall down the stairs.

"Jack," said Ianto simply, not turning to face the man who he knew stood behind him.

"Ianto," was the reply. It was a soft word, and hung in the air lightly. "You left," continued Jack after a little while, causing Ianto to gulp a little and step away.

"I know," he replied curtly, still not turning to face Jack.

"Any reason why?" asked Jack slowly, watching Ianto move towards a rolling cabinet and put the files away. Ianto sighed quietly, leaning against the cold metal tiredly as he softly bit his lip. Suddenly he pushed himself away from the cabinet and glanced up at the rows of files above him. He reached up quickly and pulled out a drawer, urgently flicking through files until he found the one he was looking for. Jack watched him curiously, a half-smile on his face in amusement. However the smile was soon wiped away as Ianto thrust him the file and stalked off.

"Work it out," stated the Welshman as he swiftly left the Archives. Jack frowned imperceptibly before peering down at the file in his hands and biting his lips. The title of the file held two very simple words: Lisa Hallet.

Ianto soon found himself with his own mug of coffee and sitting on the threadbare sofa, Tosh throwing him reassuring glances. He drank another mouthful of the warm liquid and sighed into his mug. He knew that Jack would return, convince him all would be okay and they'd end up having sex in some random place in the Hub. He sighed again and placed his mug on the floor by his feet only to find a pair of shoes sitting there. He followed his gaze up the body of the man and gulped slightly before jumping to his feet.

"Ja..Jack," he stammered in surprise, causing Tosh to blush slightly and make an awful excuse to leave. Jack frowned at Ianto deeply, barely blinking as he watched the younger man.

"You could've told me," he said bluntly, watching Ianto's jaw tense again.

"I really couldn't," was the soft reply.

"Why?"

"Because you wouldn't understand,"

"Yes, I don't understand what it feels like to have someone you love die and immediately start a new relationship and feel like a cheat?" asked Jack in a rush, causing Ianto to gulp and sit down.

"You... Uh... Understand," he mumbled, a little embarrassed at his actions now.

"More than anyone," whispered Jack, taking Ianto's wrists in his hands and smiling softly before leaning forwards and kissing him forcefully, pushing him back against the rough sofa. Ianto frowned and wanted to pull away, but stopped himself. What good would that do? Jack made him feel alive... happy even, and Lisa would've wanted that. Jack understood him, and Lisa would've wanted that too. All regrets and guilts died as he urgently pushed away the braces of his lover and kissed him back.

* * *

2 hours later Tosh rather regretted returning to her work desk and both Gwen and Owen definitely regretted going into work that day, for somethings seen could never be unseen.

**The End! :D I hope it all makes sense! :3**


End file.
